I’ve been laughing for three years over the fact that in ye old England you could chose to have ‘trial by cake’ in which you ate a piece of cake and if you choked you were guilty and if you didn’t you were innocent, and the only time it was used the guy on trial fucking choked and was executed for it
so tonight my philosophy professor had these nasty bruises all over her arms and she stopped mid-lecture to say “sorry you guys have to look at my bruised-up body, my friend brought a stripper pole over for thanksgiving and that shit is not easy. tip your strippers. tip your strippers well” and then immediately kept talking about philosophy
christmas music makes me forget there’s real problems in the world
one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book
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